Lately, I’ve been bombarded by two different types of ads for the movie The Change-Up. Both of them are equally horrifying. 

The first ad is the one we’re all used to seeing, at least in the NYC subways. It’s of Hollywood beefcake Ryan Reynolds holding up two young, attractive women while Hollywood person Jason Bateman is holding up two babies. Because, guys, you know what’s lame? Having babies! And do you know what rules? Holding chicks! Bro power for life!!! 

Stupid. 

The second ad is basically the exact same as the first, except it’s smaller, and usually appears on the tops of taxi cabs. Ryan Reynolds is smiling smugly with two feet on his face, and Jason Bateman is looking anxious while two babies pull at his face. Because, Barack Brobamas, you know what’s lame? You get the point. Also, what is it supposed to mean that Ryan Reynolds has two feet on his face? Are we to assume that he’s having sex with this woman? If so, why does he have his shirt on? 

I think this is the first time in my life I’m insulted at what ad-people think I should think. Now, I’m sure this fine piece of cinema will have some redeeming lesson at the end, but on the surface, I guess I’m supposed to think about how single life is fun, while married life is boring. Or maybe not, I have no idea what these lazy ads are supposed to communicate, other than “this is a movie with Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bateman, feet, and babies.” 

If you want to drop your I.Q. for a few minutes, check out the website. On the site, you can view lots of pictures of Ryan Reynolds hanging out with attractive women, and you can view Jason Bateman being trapped, just TRAPPED in his normal life. Oh and on the main page, there’s animated peeing! Because that’s funny for everyone, seeing animated urine arc out of Ryan Reynolds! 

Stupid. 

To the “stars” of this movie - what happened? Ryan Reynolds used to be Van Wilder and that cool dude from Waiting. And now… a body switch comedy? Really? Jason Bateman is the star of Arrested Development, and the critically acclaimed Teen Wolf Too (ha, sorry, I had to throw that in there). How did he get roped into this? 

I get that actors make movies, especially summer movies. But The Change-Up is insulting our collective intelligence with its ads and its general existence. Let’s all do our part here and not see this movie.

[Editor’s note: As I was writing this and wondering what happened to Ryan Reynolds, I remembered that Bill Simmons eloquently explained it already. An interesting read on how the demand for movie stars often exceeds the supply.]