A pretty good rule for professional sports teams is that you can pick up a headcase on your team… as long as you don’t give them another headcase to hang out with. So with the Pats picking up Albert Haynesworth AND Chad Ochocinco, I’m a little worried. I’m a little worried that before the season starts, we’ll see the headline in the Globe: Haynesworth and Ochocinco [do something completely insane] at the Cask’n Flagon. 

But, the Pats have a pretty good history of picking up headcases and making them work. Corey Dillon is a walking episode of Law and Order, and he won a Superbowl, along with going to the Pro Bowl on his first year with the Pats. Randy Moss is always pretty crazy, but he worked out pretty well, and he and Brady got a single season touchdown record. 

To me, the difference here is Tedy Bruschi. The guy was an absolute beast, and he played with a plastic valve (or something) in his heart. Let’s dwell on that for a second: he played professional football with a kazoo between his left atrium and his aorta. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is going to run their mouth to Bruschi. Spike Lee respects Tedy Bruschi. 

And with Bruschi long-retired, I worry about the team’s headcase-conversion capability. I’m less worried about Ochocinco, who is just sort of goofy and weird, and I’m more worried about Haynesworth, who is flat-out crazy. Ochocinco will do silly stuff, like, for example, changing his name to Ochocinco. But remember when Haynesworth kicked a guy’s helmet off, and then kicked him in the face? Yikes. I’m not sure any amount of Belichick Kool-Aid will remove anyone’s innate desire to kick people in the face. With cleats on. 

I hope it works out. Crazy players tend to fall in line when they’re past their prime and they want to win, so hopefully these two psychos will chill out a little. Besides, who wants to go out and party during New England winters anyway?