I’m not really into the Showtime series Weeds, but I’ve been watching this season. And Weeds has convinced me not to watch it anymore. Spoilers ahead, if you care about that kind of thing. 

I was under the impression that this show was about a woman, Nancy Botwin, who has no choice but to push drugs and kick ass. And maybe that’s what has been happening in the previous seasons. This season, though, Nancy is less Wonder Woman and more Gossip Girl. Most of the shots of Nancy are her, glassy-eyed, begging someone for help. The remainder of the shots are slow pans up from her ridiculously high heels to her weird dress. A quick side-note: Nancy is constantly wearing weird dresses provided by her rehabilitation facility… our tax money at work!

We see Nancy’s craziness start from the very beginning. In the first episode, she kisses her Russian cell mate. Because that’s what goes down in women’s prisons dudes, chicks kissing hardcore! Then, she retrieves… you guessed it… a luggage bag full of grenades. And boy, is it tough being a woman in New York City. Applying for court-mandated jobs, walking in high heels, and dragging around a suitcase full of military grade explosives. Struggling to get by in the city is tough, right ladies? 

The one moment that Nancy shows a shred of Single Ladies-ism is when she meets her future drug supplier, and offers to trade her suitcase full of explosives for some weed. It was nice to see Nancy get back to what she does best, which is, of course, to hustle for drugs and make a lot of money. But, soon after meeting her supplier, she has sex with him. And it starts when she’s on the phone with her parole officer. Because sometimes, ladies, you just gots to have sex with a foreign drug dealer you just met. 

In lots of ways, Nancy Botwin is the anti-Liz Lemon. We love to watch Liz Lemon because she’s funny, smart, good at her job, and just awful with men. And she’s aware of all of it. Botwin is a little dumber. And even though Botwin is good at her job (keep in mind that “job” is selling drugs), she keeps getting interrupted by getting high or having sex. Don’t’cha hate that? Even the first time she gets reunited with her family, when she sees her son Shane, she can hardly react because she’s stoned. I’d be more interested to see Nancy really invested in being reunited with her family, and really care about what that first meeting is like. (Also, hasn’t Nancy listened to Biggie’s Ten Crack Commandments? Never get high on your supply! Come on, Nancy!) 

The most recent episode had the most flagrant example. Nancy has finally landed a decent day job as a secretary at Doug’s company, and she is just bewildered! It’s hard to imagine that an experienced drug dealer can’t handle phone calls and lunch orders, but whatever. I’ve been a receptionist and I would imagine selling drugs is much harder and much, much scarier. She immediately has sexual tension with the CEO of the company, and it reaches a fever pitch at the company softball game. The CEO makes her play third base, and we got a slow pan up from her ridiculously high heels to her tiny baseball shorts. Talk about the hot corner, right fellas? [Editor’s note: The hot corner is a baseball term for third base, due to the high number of balls that get hit there. And also, she’s supposed to attractive… you get it.] She banters with the CEO for a while, after telling him she’s a drug dealer, and then this exchange happens: 

CEO: So what’s your favorite game?

Nancy: [glassy-eyed] Candyland… Sweet tooth. You?

CEO: [Gruffly] Risk. 

Right at that very moment, I stood from my couch, tore off my Weeds t-shirt in one swift motion, and ran out of my apartment into the rain shouting “WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?” Nice image, huh? 

I’m really bummed that Weeds has turned into sexual-pun-o-rama. And like I said, maybe this season is but a nug in the long joint that is Nancy’s character development, but I much prefer the bold woman who sells drugs to hold her family together, over the big-eyed moron who is about to explode with sexuality like the suitcase she lugs around. Liz Lemon is breaking her back to hold her show together, and Nancy Botwin is the goofy, ditzy college friend who shows up unannounced and gets high on her couch (which would be an amazing episode of either series, by the way). 

I’ll stick around to the end of this season, just to see how deep the rabbit hole goes. But I’ll keep my hopes for a strong female character low, unlike Nancy’s stiletto heels, am I RIGHT ladies???